Dirty Mouth

I have a pet peeve. Don't we all?

I absolutely LOATHE the smell of mint. Especially spearmint and toothpaste. It makes me physically sick.

I can't be near someone chomping on spearmint gum. Actually, all gum grosses me out - probably due to one too many lunches staring at a chewed wad of gum perched on someone's plate (full body shudder) - but spearmint is intolerable.

I once shared an office with a woman who chain-chewed spearmint gum. It was revolting. I was constantly using fragrant lotions and sniffing my hands. She probably thought I was doped out on the Bath and Body Works. I probably was.

But spearmint gum is generally avoidable. At least, for me it is. I can smell it from a mile away, which comes in handy when trying to avoid someone.

What is unavoidable, however, is walking into a public bathroom and getting smacked with the scent of freshly-brushed teeth. That person may feel tingly fresh, but my bowels feel otherwise.

Please people. Do not brush your teeth at work! Use some mints or a Listerine strip like the rest of us. Using the sink that I wash my hands in as your Crest-foamed spittoon is not OK.

Honestly, these people are taking dental health to an extreme. I do not recall any elementary school assembly instructing me to brush my teeth 3 times a day.

My Burritoville dentist (long story for another time) is probably rolling over in his high-fluoride reclining chair as I speak. But I cannot allow this highly inappropriate office behavior stand! The delicate noses of the workforce must have their voices heard!

Amen.

And yes, I am very happy that David Cook won Idol. But I am happier that I get to see him for two more weeks during the relentless American Idol media junket.