PowerPoint, You Are My Only Friend

I've been working like mad on a deck for a pitch I have next week in sunny Florida.

For those of you not in the business world, "deck" is code for presentation. I have no idea how this phrase was coined, but I embrace it. The alternative is, as my husband would say, actually quite offensive.

I was on a conference call with a group of people who are working on some mobile marketing evangelism pieces, (my contribution: "MOBILE - You Know You Want To" bumper stickers) and one of the participants called the deck we were working on a "preso." As in pree-zoh.

Preso? Really?

Like lopping off two syllables of the word makes it that much more efficient in corporate speak.

As a rule, I hate corporate jargon. It inevitably and seeps into your everyday lexicon during business hours. But some people can't turn it off.

I'm sure we’ve all caught ourselves saying something completely corporate and douchey at an inappropriate time. But I hope you're trying to better yourself.

Imagine organizing something with a group of friends, let's say a bachelorette party or a baby shower. Both scenarios are good because you will likely be co-planning with some very close friends and some mild acquaintances.

Now, a lot of time, energy, coordination, and political-correctness go into planning such an event, so you may be tempted to lapse into corporate speak to get everything done in an efficient, polite manner. But please refrain! Can you imagine the horror of your planning compatriots at the following?

Hi Girls - Please find attached my draft evite for Jane's Bachelorette Party. If
you have any edits, please send them to me by COB today, as I want to send this
to Jane's friends tonight so they all have enough time to RSVP.

I want to make sure we're all on the same page in regard to the color scheme. I know we discussed using the brown and baby blue that Jane is using for her wedding, but
the invite I found was too cute to pass up! I hope you will agree.

Also, I am working on a Dick and Jane Q&A doc for Dick to answer for the preso we
will be showing at her lingerie shower.

I think that's it for my list of deliverables. Sally (cc'd here) and I also have been discussing party favors and penis straws, but I will let her send an update on this.

I'm sure the grown-up side in you finds such correspondence only mildly annoying, but the Frosted-Mini-Wheats-eating kids side is actually doubled over with mocking laughter. And the kids are right.

I am trying to rebel against corporate speak, but find myself powerless against its power. Maybe it's because I've spent that last 20 hours writing in it. Or maybe it's because my preso is so damn good that the Scientologists are interested in screening it during their clearing sessions.