Fix Your Face Please, I'm Trying to Eat

There's a salad maker at my salad place who removed his giant ear spacers and now has creepy, African-inspired lobes dangling in my $12 chopped salad.

It's a bit of a turn-off to watch his mutilated lobes tossing my romaine and avocado around in that silver bowl. Not that his lobes literally do the tossing, but like a predatory Looney Tune, in my mind's eye, the guy just turns into a giant earlobe.

I wonder if he replaces the spacers after hours, or if they are permanently removed. If they are permanently removed, I can't imagine this guy getting a date, ever. It's really a gross sight. Not that a properly installed spacer is much of a turn-on, but I'm sure some people are into that.

I also do not understand those people who got their upper ear pierced in the 90's (myself included) and then let their ear get infected and deformed over the years. I'm sure you've seen these giant, bulbous-eared folks minding their own business, not seeking medical attention to get that thing lanced.

These days, it's easy enough for both genders to cover their gross ears, so why do these people opt-out of making society feel comfortable? In the words of the meth-addicted Stephanie Tanner, "How Rude."