I Feel the Earth Move Under My Feet

California is welcoming me with a bang. Literally.

There have been two earthquakes in the last three days, and for a first-timer, the situation is rather unsettling. (I smell puns aplenty today)

My first earthquake was Sunday night while relaxing at home. I was in the bathroom, grooming myself, my husband and father-in-law were in the office across the hall, and my mother-in-law was in her bedroom. We were all upstairs.

In mid-pluck, it felt and sounded like a tractor-trailer overturned on our quiet suburban street. Before I could process a thought beyond, "did a tractor-trai..." my mother-in-law started screaming in tongues and scared me half to death. My bladder isn't the strongest these days with baby on board, but I probably would have wet myself regardless.

My husband calmly popped his head in the bathroom and told me it was an earthquake and that I needed to stand under the doorway. We stood in our respective doorways, across from each other, with matching worried looks. Mine, for he health and safety of the MIL, still screaming, and CinS for the two neon signs precariously perched atop a cabinet in the garage.

Luckily, the quake did not last long and we all settled back in to our nightly routine of eyebrow sculpting, online poker, and needlessly putting ourselves and our loved ones in high-stress situations. I thought my CA earthquake experience had passed.

Yesterday, I was driving to the DMV for the third time in a week (don't ask) and felt my car shake as I stopped at a red light. It felt like an earthquake to me, but as I glanced around the street, I saw pedestrians and bike riders nonplussed, as if nothing had happened. I assumed it was some unseen street construction and that I was now paranoid after Sunday's events. I went about my business.

After hour 9 at the DMV, I checked my phone on my way back out to my car and saw that CinS had left me several messages. It turns out that the rattling was yet another quake. I guess the citizens of Hawthorne, CA are not as sensitive as I am. Or maybe it was all that screaming that put the fear of God in me.

The moral of the story is that earthquakes aren’t all that scary. Even bigger ones that you can feel. Unless your home is furnished exclusively in 9 foot-tall Ikea MDF that is not bolted down, nothing is going to happen to you. So to all my fellow East Coasters who have lived through hurricanes, ice storms, and nor’easters, a little shaking is not so bad. Universal Studios totally exaggerates.