At Least I'm No Mid-Western Housefrau...

To continue this week's trend of disturbing internet finds, I stumbled across a forum today made up of women who are crazier than me.

Let me explain. My David Cook obsession is getting out of hand. Since that naughty dream, I've been a little, well, coo-coo for Cookie Puffs.

Please husband, when you read this, try to remember how I looked when I saw Bruce Willis, and be confident that I will look equally awful if I ever were to bump into Mr. Cook. You can also remember that I was paralyzed and hyperventilating when I met last year's Idol of choice, Blake Lewis. These traits are not hot.

Anyhow, in my obsession-fueled boredom, I was checking out some fan sites to linger over photos of David's snarling sexy faces. And lo-and-behold, there is a lunatic chat room of married women who are all in lust with David Cook.

These women have formed a support group where they can take comfort in the fact that their marriages are loveless and sexless, with only American Idol to fuel their passions. One woman's husband wisely (or unwisely) does not let her play David Cook in the bedroom. Another asks if it is normal to think about sex with David more than sex with her own husband. My favorite line is when she then forecasts a nervous breakdown when Idol ends next week and she can't get her David fix.

YEESH!

Another disturbing part of this forum is that each woman has a personalized David Cook footer on each of her posts. Most involve banners with a montage of Cook faces and a slogan like, "David Makes Me Hungry Like The Wolf." (hey, at least they are all spelled correctly) Others have a 15-second video clip repeating over and over. My favorite is included here. David is making some kind of "I used to have an awful comb-over" gesture. I also make this gesture when referring to a dark period when I had bangs.

So the burning question is… Do I now feel that my obsession is as creepy and dirty as the rest of these women? The answer is no. Because unlike these forum gals, if I was single and met David Cook, he would totally give me the time of day. And this is why I love him.

Cheezburger in Paradyze

First, I would like to admit that I had a naughty dream about David Cook last night. This was my third one. I have problems well beyond yesterday's post.

Now that that's off my chest, I wanted to share a bizarre internet phenomenon I discovered today.

Is anyone familiar with the site icanhascheezburger.com? They have pictures of cats and things with "funny" captions. I see these images all over Facebook and MySpace and never knew where they came from. But apparently there is a depository at icanhascheezburger.

Now, I totally get why someone would want to have a picture of a cat with a slogan. I remember the "Hang In There" poster from the guidance counselor's office as well as anyone. But what I don't understand is why all these slogans are grossly misspelled.

Maybe I'm not the demo, but I really don't get why something is funnier if it is spelled weird. Anyone?

The pimped spelling is called "LOLspeak," which leads me to believe its origin is based in text messaging. But as a die-hard T9 user, text messaging has actually made me a better speller. You can only spell tomorrow with one r so many times before wanting to throw your phone out the window.

But maybe the Gossip Girl generation can't be bothered to use T9 to learn how to spell. Maybe it's cool to jack up the English language. Maybe running spellcheck on my email makes me a tool. I am really at a loss.

I stumbled across a terrible movie the other day called Idiocracy. It's about the future. Everyone is an idiot, Starbucks peddles hand-jobs, and everything is misspelled. I think icanhascheezburger is the beginning of the end.