I was flying to LA last night on one of the few planes that actually took off from JFK, when I was presented with a karmic dilemma.
As I was settling in to my luxurious aisle seat close to the front of the plane with perfect viewing-distance from the TV screen, a flight attendant approached to ask if I would give up my seat so a woman could sit with her family. The catch: her seat was in the last row of the plane.
I've been feeling generous and compassionate lately, so I offered my seat - only after confirming that my new last-row chair would recline. The answer was yes, and so I hiked back 15 rows and settled in yet again.
In my new seat, things weren't so bad. The gentlemen next to me were of normal stature, the hipster-male flight attendants were showering me with affection, and my new book was riveting. Karma was smiling down upon me. I was the Earl Hickey of American Airlines.
I was a very happy passenger for about 3 hours. They saved me a sandwich. When I declined the sandwich (having already spent $15 on an airport tuna salad) they brought me a bowl of warmed nuts from first class. I was comped 2 beers and headphones. Life was good.
And then, it happened. We hit horrible turbulence. The movie was one that I actually wanted to see, but my chair was broken and I had no sound. My book lost its luster. My iPod was dead. The "advanced" Sodoku puzzle from In Touch magazine kicked my ass. My pen died. Someone took a giant dump in the bathroom not 2 feet from my nose.
If a crying baby dropped from the ceiling like an oxygen mask and spit-up on my nose, it would not have surprised me. This was the worst flight ever.
How on earth could the universe treat me this way? Had I not graciously allowed a woman to sit with her family on a painstakingly long cross-country journey? Had I not sacrificed the sound of National Treasure: Book of Secrets so that the bond of family could survive in this cold, cruel world? What more did the universe want from me?
Apparently, the universe wanted me to land 40 minutes late, wake my parents at 11:45 pm, and be the last person to deplane on my flight of 300 passengers.
But you know what else the universe wanted? It wanted my suitcase to be the first off the plane.
Aaaaaah. Karma.
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2 comments:
hah - great story... i love it.
if it's any consolation, Book of Secrets wasn't all that great...
it sort of reminds me of one of my horrendous travel stories. it seems like any time i have travelled ANYwhere in the last 4 years or so, i have had some kind of problem, whether it was bags lost, delayed flights/trains, cancelled flights, etc. it once took me 24 hours to get from cleveland to new york by bus, a trip that normally takes about 10 hours.
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