But he won't do it. He feels his rants are too derogatory and spirit-crushing for this audience. I don't know what kinds of G-rated fools he thinks are reading this, but since most of you know him, I doubt your delicate constitutions will be tarnished by reading the same garbage you hear on any given Saturday night.
And since he won't blog himself, I feel the need to do it for him....
This Blog is Lame
(in the voice of Cheesesteaks in September)
Oh Jesus. My wife has a blog.
I am Melissa and everyone needs to know how awesome I am every day on my
blog.I live in New York and make observations. I'm real observant! No one else
can observe things as well as me. This is why I have a blog.Oh Moses, I am really going to try and blog about something awesome today, like maybe about American Idol or that How I Met Your Mother made me cry last night.
(For those of you who do not know my husband, all sentences after "My wife has a blog" are meant to be read in the CinS imitating Melissa voice. I do not mean to imply that my husband cried during How I Met Your Mother. Yes, that was me.)
But wait! I just observed that my cubicle neighbor is taking a poo. That would be great for my blog. I can even make a sassy pun about feces.
I'm sure if he ever actually blogged, his tale would be much more civil, and may actually be about something. But the world will never know....
2 comments:
Um... In order to be friends with Gordon at least in the 90's you had to have a vivid imagination... and I think we all laughed and bitched about things 10 x worse than he could ever blog about LOL
i thought the CinS melissa voice said things like "i'm obsessed with the 70's so that i can desperately recapture my youth! my husband has a tiny black heart!"
hmm... i don't remember the rest of it, but chad does. i'll have to ask him for a transcript.
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