I was at the gym the other day and I noticed that one of the communal TVs had been changed from NY1 to the Hallmark Channel. Interesting choice.
One day, I watched a Hallmark Hall of Fame starring Dean Cain as a sheriff in a town plagued by the KKK. I was watching without the benefit of sound, so I'm unclear on the details. But it looked like a tear-jerker. It was exactly what I expected to see on the Hallmark Channel.
What I didn't expect was Walker: Texas Ranger.
Yes, our good pal Chuck Norris is still flying high on the Hallmark Channel. I must admit that I'd never seen Walker: Texas Ranger before and was quite intrigued by the promo I saw before the episode aired. The most I knew about WTR was that Ricky Bobby named his kids Walker and Texas Ranger and that my husband calls our local bar Walker's, "Texas Ranger."
So imagine my surprise when Chuck Norris comes on the screen, long leather fringed coat flapping the breeze, and proceeds to kick some major ass. Before the credits rolled, Chuck killed 4 dudes with a lethal combo of karate, judo, and old-fashioned bullets.
This show is awesome.
What was even more awesome was that Chuck's name appears in the credits about 100 times. He is obviously the show's star, but also its producer, director, screenwriter, and gaffer. He also wrote and performs the theme song. And if all this weren’t masturbatory enough, the opening scene after the credits showed Chuck doing push-ups for a solid minute before anything else happened.
I think I need my own show. I would do everything, just like Chuck. And the opening scene, after my rendition of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn," would feature me ripping on innocents for a solid minute before anything else happened.
One day, I watched a Hallmark Hall of Fame starring Dean Cain as a sheriff in a town plagued by the KKK. I was watching without the benefit of sound, so I'm unclear on the details. But it looked like a tear-jerker. It was exactly what I expected to see on the Hallmark Channel.
What I didn't expect was Walker: Texas Ranger.
Yes, our good pal Chuck Norris is still flying high on the Hallmark Channel. I must admit that I'd never seen Walker: Texas Ranger before and was quite intrigued by the promo I saw before the episode aired. The most I knew about WTR was that Ricky Bobby named his kids Walker and Texas Ranger and that my husband calls our local bar Walker's, "Texas Ranger."
So imagine my surprise when Chuck Norris comes on the screen, long leather fringed coat flapping the breeze, and proceeds to kick some major ass. Before the credits rolled, Chuck killed 4 dudes with a lethal combo of karate, judo, and old-fashioned bullets.
This show is awesome.
What was even more awesome was that Chuck's name appears in the credits about 100 times. He is obviously the show's star, but also its producer, director, screenwriter, and gaffer. He also wrote and performs the theme song. And if all this weren’t masturbatory enough, the opening scene after the credits showed Chuck doing push-ups for a solid minute before anything else happened.
I think I need my own show. I would do everything, just like Chuck. And the opening scene, after my rendition of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn," would feature me ripping on innocents for a solid minute before anything else happened.
1 comment:
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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