My office computer is PAINFULLY slow. Oftentimes, I whip up a post while waiting for my online sales database to load. Sadly, I am not kidding. It's astounding how inefficient it can be to work at a technology company.
This brings me to my ultimate pet peeve. My Brick.
My Brick is actually my cellphone. At first glance, you would think the Brick is, in fact, the first cellphone ever made. At second glance, you realize that it is actually the world's smallest laptop. I did not intend for that to sound awesome.
I used to have a gorgeous, slim, easy-to-handle Blackberry Pearl. It fit in my purse, had a lovely rollerball, and rocked a variety of badass ringtones. But when I changed jobs, I learned that my new employer does not support Blackberry. BOOOOO!
And so I had to get a new phone. But instead of choosing a phone that was to my liking, the Brick was thrust upon me. The Brick weighs about 4 pounds. It does not fit in the cellphone pouch in my purse. Its touch-screen features require a coke nail for proper use.
I keep waiting for a new work-supported phone to become available on AT&T so the Brick can have an "accident." But until that day, I suffer.
This brings me to my ultimate pet peeve. My Brick.
My Brick is actually my cellphone. At first glance, you would think the Brick is, in fact, the first cellphone ever made. At second glance, you realize that it is actually the world's smallest laptop. I did not intend for that to sound awesome.
I used to have a gorgeous, slim, easy-to-handle Blackberry Pearl. It fit in my purse, had a lovely rollerball, and rocked a variety of badass ringtones. But when I changed jobs, I learned that my new employer does not support Blackberry. BOOOOO!
And so I had to get a new phone. But instead of choosing a phone that was to my liking, the Brick was thrust upon me. The Brick weighs about 4 pounds. It does not fit in the cellphone pouch in my purse. Its touch-screen features require a coke nail for proper use.
I keep waiting for a new work-supported phone to become available on AT&T so the Brick can have an "accident." But until that day, I suffer.
The irony is that I am in mobile. And I work for a company that makes cellphones. It's really embarrassing.
Something else embarrassing about my phone is that I can't figure out how to silence my ringer once it starts ringing. There have been plenty of days when I have forgotten to switch my phone to vibrate and my entire office was treated to my lame ringtone of the moment. The latest ringtone (which is no longer topical AT ALL and thereby even more embarrassing) is David Cook’s Billie Jean. Yes, I am aware that American Idol has been off the air since May. I am also aware that I am 30.
Aside from being embarrassing and out-of-date, I also have a hard time hearing my DC ringtone. My husband is endlessly frustrated by my neglect in answering my phone. The other day, it came to a head.
CinS called me 9 times (as verified by my missed calls log) and burst into our apartment in a tornado of frustration.
"I called you 9 times! If you wanted to go out to dinner tonight, you should have answered your phone!"
"Oh. Sorry. It was in the other room."
"What if it was an emergency? You never answer your phone!"
"I'm sorry. I hate my phone."
CinS then proceeded to dial my phone while making exaggerated angry faces. He followed the noise (that I still couldn’t hear, but somehow he could), fished my phone out of my purse and held it up to my ear.
"Melissa, you are a professional woman. You cannot have a ringtone like this. Maybe if your phone rang like a phone, you would hear it. I don't care if all the other 17-year-olds tease you for not having a cool ringtone, but I need to be able to reach you. Change your ringtone now."
"But...."
"The only possible reason for you to have this ringtone is for when David Cook calls you."
I then exited my body to fantasize a tame, corporate rock-and-roll lifestyle in which David Cook calls me on a regular basis.
"Get a real ring please," my husband says.
And so I did. Now, when my phone accidentally rings at the office, I answer it with pride, not hushed tones. But I do miss DC. And definitely cannot show my face in the high school parking lot ever again.
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