Dolls

Hey reader(s?) - I know you've been desperate for a new blog post, and I apologize. I was in San Francisco last week for a conference and some fun. Note: these were two separate events.

To maximize my fun time, I decided to book myself a flight home on the redeye. I have taken one other redeye in my life, where I stabbed Cillian Murphy in the neck with a pencil, so I wasn't really prepared for overnight travel.

I have some Ambien left over from my honeymoon, and thought it would be smart to take said Ambien to sleep through my flight home. I would awake at JFK feeling revived and alert, and then head home to work in my jammies all day. Despite the use of unprescribed drugs, my plan seemed very responsible. Round 1 to Melissa.

I arrived home at 8am and wasn't feeling very energetic. Round 2 to Ambien.

I crawled into bed to nap for a few hours. I got 5 hours of sleep on the plane, and was planning to round it out with 2.5 more hours before my 10:30 conference call. After almost 8 hours of rest, I surely would feel great for the rest of the day.

Instead, my ass was kicked until noon. I woke up to 3 voicemails and my alarm blaring. Ambien wins by a knock-out.

I also required a second nap yesterday from 5-730pm. Damn you, Ambien, you've already won. Do you really need to show off?

One of the reasons I took Ambien without consideration of the consequences, is because I am reading a new book. My friend Jen K recommended that I revive my love of Jacqueline Suzanne, of Valley of the Dolls fame, by reading her other books.

I am currently reading a terrible tale called The Love Machine. It follows the same formula as Valley of the Dolls. Woman takes tranquilizers, falls in love, drinks excessively, marries for money, becomes famous, and dies before her time. It is all very glamorous. Just like my Ambien coma. Sheer glamour.

I think I am still suffering from the after-effects of the Ambien coma and/or jetlag. I am barely functional, so please forgive me for having nothing at all amusing to say. I know that Jen K will be especially disappointed that the one post where she is mentioned is so lame (she’s been lobbying since her June wedding). But then again, I did mention her twice (now three times!) so that will probably make up for it.

I’m honestly about to pass out at my desk and drool all over my Sudoku. Maybe if I take this red pill I'll feel better.