Takeback the Morning

I am so over ESPN.

I am forced to watch ESPN every morning when I am getting ready for work. My husband does not understand the value of the morning weather or news, but he does see a profound beauty in watching the same episode of Sports Center that he saw the night before.

When we first moved in together, I tried to convert him from ESPN to the Today Show. But his hatred of Katie Couric prompted many a morning argument. In his defense, the Today Show is about 90% garbage. In my defense, that remaining 10% is chock-full of weather, news, and hilarious puns by Al Roker.

I then switched to NY1, because when you don’t have time to read the paper yourself, they do it for you. But Pat Keirnan was also annoying to my dear husband. Well then! You know what is annoying to me, buddy? You whining about morning news show anchors everyday! And so I gave up.

We've been watching ESPN in the morning for a few years now, and I have to say that it is the worst network ever. They are only concerned with two things: The Yankees and Brett Favre.

If you don't watch ESPN, you probably think I am exaggerating for comedic effect. If you do watch ESPN, you are rolling on the floor, doubled over with knowing laughter.

Brett Favre is everywhere. His retirement cock-tease has been all the rage on ESPN for years. Hell, I was even watching a game last weekend and one of the commentators kept dropping Favre’s name. ESPN must be on his payroll. All press is good press, right?

But the Favre issue is in now way as offensive as the Yankees phenomenon. As previously mentioned, I am over the Yankees. I was actually excited for this baseball season to end so I could stop hearing about the freakin' Yankees, their stadium, and their player’s martial affairs. Obviously, I knew all about the Yankee's last game of the season, and I was psyched. No playoffs= no more Yankees. But no.

ESPN did a 10-minute expose this morning about the Yankees NOT making the playoffs. Really? There is nothing else going all in the entire sporting world that you have to cover a team NOT doing something? This is quite possibly worse than "Who's Now?" (on-field success and off-field buzz)